


betray the moon as acolyte

by narcissacronin



Category: Rapunzel's Tangled Adventure (Cartoon)
Genre: ...i think, Canon Compliant, F/F, Gen, One-Shot, Unrequited Cassunzel, alternate title: me projecting my feelings on religion onto cass for 1000 word, anyway the title is from sunlight by hozier, set sometime during s1 probably around queen for a day, slight angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-30
Updated: 2021-01-30
Packaged: 2021-03-15 13:08:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,200
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29064861
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/narcissacronin/pseuds/narcissacronin
Summary: Cassandra prayed not to any god or deity, but to anyone, really, so long as they’d listen to her. She briefly wondered if there was another lost soul out there like her, someone hoping to one day find where they belong. She wondered if they would hear her cries and understand and maybe even offer a supporting hand.She prayed for a few different things, some simple, others not so much.
Relationships: Cassandra/Rapunzel (Disney: Tangled)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 23





	betray the moon as acolyte

Cassandra knelt down beside her bed, arms resting on top of it. The floor of her bedroom was unyielding, the cold wood pressing hard against her knees even through her thick pants, though she did her best to ignore her discomfort. She pressed her hands together, fingers intertwined, and bowed her head.

Growing up, her father had never been a particularly religious man and what little she knew of religion was from books from far-off lands. The ideas and practices behind many felt foreign to her and she couldn’t quite grasp the reasoning for many. When she’d first read of the concept of a God, or rather Gods in some cases, it’d sounded a bit far-fetched. The idea that someone held power stronger than any other person out there sounded too fantastical for her to believe at that time, though she’d seen more than enough magic in weeks past to make her think maybe it isn’t such a stretch after all. (That still didn’t mean she quite believed, though, at least not in a traditional sense).

The idea of praying was even more obscure to her. Why put blind faith into a supposedly divine being you’d never met and likely never would? One who you have no way of proving truly exists? Cassandra didn’t wholly understand why, yet here she sat now, praying.

Or, at least, it was her own version of it.

She slowly started to mouth a prayer. Her heartbeat rung loudly in her ears, drowning out her near-silent words.

Cassandra prayed not to any god or deity, but to anyone, really, so long as they’d listen to her. She briefly wondered if there was another lost soul out there like her, someone hoping to one day find where they belong. She wondered if they would hear her cries and understand and maybe even offer a supporting hand.

She prayed for a few different things, some simple, others not so much. She prayed for acceptance, wishing her father would one day see her worth and she’d finally live up to her potential.

But she also prayed for escape, wanting— _ needing _ —to get away from this life of servitude, these suffocating castle walls. Maybe once she was free she’d finally become the great warrior she’d always dreamed of being. She hoped to be able to leave all of her feelings of contempt behind as well, to forget the hope she held for a dream she knows deep down could never come true.

And lastly, she prayed for forgiveness—forgiveness for what she couldn’t quite say, unsure of even her own emotions. Maybe it was to her father for not living up to his image of what a daughter was supposed to be. Or maybe it was to herself, an  _ ‘I’m sorry’ _ for all the pressures and stress she’d pressed upon herself to succeed over. A wish, too, in a way, that one day she might be able to look back on this time and not feel malice or regret, but rather something akin to pride.

Though she’d finished saying her prayer, she stayed in that same position for a few minutes. She kept her eyes shut and ignored the chill that’s started to settle in her bones. Cassandra sighed deeply before deciding to utter one more small prayer—one that was slightly different from all the rest.

She prayed not for acceptance or for her wish to come true, but rather relief: She prayed for her heart to return to normal, for these...these  _ feelings _ she harbored for Rapunzel to disappear. For whatever hopes she held for a relationship that was all but forbidden to fade away and haunt her no more. And...

And she prayed for forgiveness, though this time she knew precisely what she wanted to be forgiven for.

Her feelings for Rapunzel felt taboo, almost. Even beyond the fact that Rapunzel had Eugene, Rapunzel was the princess and Cassandra was simply her lady-in-waiting. The two of them weren’t even meant to be  _ friends _ , let alone lovers. The idea of something more felt unreachable, as if there were a path of never-ending obstacles in front of Cassandra. And though she was no stranger to confronting obstacles, she knew they could never together, at least not in the way her heart yearned.

Sometimes it felt like all those feelings were weighing down and muddling her judgement. A lot of times it felt like she was tiptoeing around Rapunzel, careful never to let her gaze linger long and always speaking with guarded words.

While she wasn’t necessarily scared of Rapunzel knowing, it was others she worried about. If Fitzherbert were to find, she’d never hear the end of it and everyone knows that man can’t keep a secret either, so there’s no telling who’d share it with. Before she knew it, her secret would be all over Corona and Cassandra would never be able to escape the whispers among the townspeople. Plus with the risk of being sent to a convent already looming over her, she couldn’t risk another reason added to the list.

Cassandra thought back to one of the books she’d read, vaguely remembering something about a concept called “sin.” She’d heard the word uttered in town before but had never quite put much thought to it until now. Much like her thoughts on praying, she didn’t understand what qualified this God to decide what was illicit and what was acceptable. Some were obvious, sure, and similar to a few of Corona’s laws, but some were just people simply living their lives and causing no harm.

Would caring for Rapunzel in the way that she does be considered a sin by some?

She thought this over, quickly deciding that even if it did, she didn’t care. Cassandra had much more pressing matters at hand than to worry about how her life would be viewed by something she didn’t subscribe to. 

Her heart ached as she mulled over all the possible outcomes her mind could come up with, each one somehow worse than the last. Dread settled heavily upon her chest and suddenly she felt it hard to breathe.

Although, logically, she knew the only way this could end was in heartbreak, a part of her still  _ hoped _ . Maybe someway, somehow, things could still work out. Or maybe that was just wishful thinking, but everyone was allowed a wish once in a while, weren’t they?

Most days it felt like she was standing still watching as her life flashed before her eyes, unable to do anything about it. As if she was just standing there, motionless, watching as all her hopes and dreams were burnt to a crisp, any ashes left behind lost to the wind. And anytime she tried to embrace the flame, it was quickly put out and she found herself back at square one.

The silence in her room began to grow suffocating and she became all too aware of how futile this was. If she wanted her circumstances to change, she’d have to take action into her own hands. Even though there wasn’t all that much she could at the moment, one day her chance would come and she couldn’t afford to miss it.


End file.
